About What It Takes

I got a free subscription to Architectural Digest some time ago and have reveled in taking pictorial tours through what must be some the most amazingly luxurious and exquisitely put together homes on the planet. The last issue I submerged in covered the homes of several celebrities: an actress, a musician and a designer. All names familiar to most households. I suppose that the attraction of a magazine like this is that it supplies the information you need to stage the backgrounds for your fantasies. Or maybe the decor itself is the fantasy. Or maybe you don’t fantasize. Whatever.

I had an epiphany when remembering some those rooms afterwards. Of my five (or more?) senses, the one that has brought me to my knees in emotional response is sight. I think in pictures and use pictures to think. This is not a very efficient nor is it always an effective operation, but — it’s what I have to work with. I would take great delight in being lodged in some of those impeccably put together rooms or baking in one of those designer kitchens outfitted with every utensil the heart could crave. Imagine a closet you could skateboard in that held shoes in careful rows and beautiful clothing for lavish affairs. And more. Much more. Ah, the comfort. Ah, the pleasure I would know in these lovely surroundings!

But could I be happier than I am now? Of course not. I believe that we have a certain capacity for feeling anything. I suppose when you go beyond your capacity for feeling physical pain, you pass out. And when emotional pain is too great, the brain has its ways. Must be the same for contentment. And right now, not only does my life feel complete, everything in place, but I can’t imagine being more content than I am.

I just made myself smile when I typed “everything in place”. The house has still not been put in order after the move and the studio has only just begun to be renovated. It has already run into its own set of complications and stumbling blocks. But my children are well, there’s food in the frig, and I am in good health. I am supported by friends and family. I look forward to the day when I will be back at work and have my neatly ordered little house  to come back to in the evenings. It couldn’t get any better then that.

Actress Jodie Foster: I fantasize about having a manual job where I can come home at night, read a book and not feel responsible for what will happen the next day. 

The image above is Santander ©2004, mixed media on paper, 36” x 48”. It is part of a series that was a temporary detour into a more decorative style inspired by Islamic design.